You’re going to require a Master’s for that position and then make the pay the same as an admin assistant senior? Wow.

OMG just stop emailing me. Seriously.

It hurt my soul to do that. I just want you to know.


I think it’s hilarious that all the comments are “wash your hands!” and none of them are “stop biting your fucking nails.”

Because stop biting your fucking nails.

No one is going to give you a hundred dollars for your alarm clock. No one.

I’ll be flogged for saying I don’t like it. Flogged.

I don’t know. Kind of seems like an awfully high number of serial killers for one state.

I don’t like the way it looks like it’s just floating.

“Bass fishing, needlepoint, that’s a hobby. Collecting serial killer stats. That’s … that’s an illness.”

Please don’t make me cry today.

Their laughs are so squeaky and creaky.

Man. No one ever gets tired of the phrase “diversity and inclusion,” do they?

‘Cept me. I do. You know why? Cos it’s all talk. It’s all about race and ethnicity. No one gives a fuck about diversity of thought. It’s tiresome.


I won’t apologize. We’ve been through this.

And also read this. Because this is a very important thing to understand.

65,000 is probably too many texts. Just. Dial it back a little. Calm the fuck down.

As I sneezed into my elbow just now, I suddenly realized how that stupid ass dab move was invented. Someone sneezed responsibly on the dance floor and everyone thought it was a fancy new move.

Just seems like a completely haphazard, chaotic existence, and I simply do not see the appeal in that.

I just think that if you don’t actually understand how any of this works, you probably shouldn’t be trying to oversee it. At all.

That … sounds disgusting.

And here I thought I was the only one with an amusing First Communion story.

maybe maybe maybe

I can’t think of a single thing I want to do less right now.

Dude. It’s been way more than 15 minutes. WTH are you?

XM needs an Afghan Whigs channel.

I’m so sorry, but your new logo reminds me of Good Morning America. Not loving it.

Oh look, I started a new feature.

Course I went on about introductions, and now I realize it needs an introduction. So.

I did say there were exceptions …

I have a feeling I’m going to like the new Neko Case worlds better than the last one, which I honestly just did not care for (it breaks my heart to say).

They’re like happy little patriotic speckles.

What is this “newspaper” of which you speak?

i just can’t seem to get enough of


I think it might be “Switch to Only One Morning Cuppa Tea” season. Pretty sure.

Oh it’s that time of year when

I mean. You don’t have to be rude.

I have loads of unpopular opinions. I’m like the unpopular opinion poster girl.

I don’t know what goes on in your head. I can’t help your psychosis or neurosis or whateversis.

Ha. I totally forgot I set that goal. Guess I better step up my game.

Where is my mind.

Well, at least I can laugh at myself.

Oh maybe I should order some Sinharaja. Mix things up a little. That might be good. I like Sinharaja.

Is there anything about crows that isn’t awesome?

Also that mask and wig are terrifying.

I have to say, I am not loving this idea.

This is why I’m back up to two Diet Dr. Peppers a day. I’m so bloody sleepy.

I wonder.

OK, I’ll do an intro to Books I Can’t Seem to Finish. Later. Not today. Another day.

I have to go pick up some chickens now.