still life with book cover

You guys.

I did it. I pushed through. I actually finished the bloody Trespasser. And you know what?

I’m going to throw in a pretty photo of a random Irish castle as a buffer because there be spoilers below.

I don’t know who took this gorgeous photo, but it was not me. I only wish it were. Good on you random gorgeous Irish castle photog.

You know what?

It never got any better.

I know you thought I was going to say “You know what? It was so worth it! It got soooooo good at the end!” I know you thought I was going to say the book totally redeemed itself and lived up to the Tana French standard we’ve all come to know and love and expect.

I am so sorry to disappoint you, chickens. But it just did not.

Worse yet, the only possible character I could see her basing the next Dublin Murder Squad installment on is kind of awful, and also it seemed like he was getting the axe anyway, so I have no clue.

Unless she goes with the one completely random guy thrown in just to be a pain in the ass and sound like a complete and utter dick. In which case, no thanks.

And then I thought wait. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the team that she’s keeping around for the duration. Conway and Moran. Perhaps all future tomes set in that tumultuous Irish city will center around this intrepid team. This “I’ve miraculously resolved my daddy issues in this two page arc” and “If only I could beat my partner over the head with all the obvious clues instead of just coming right out and SAYING WORDS she’ll fucking get it” dynamic duo.

If that is indeed the way of it, I’m afraid I’m out, Ms. French. I’ll be forced to hang up my fan club hat forevermore.

Settle down, I don’t really have a Tana French hat. Do they even make Tana French hats?

Oh wait, I just remembered Fleas. Yeah, I could see that happening. Still not terribly enticing, but better than the previously mentioned possibles I suppose. Really Fleas is the only logical choice for the next book.

Honestly, I was so frustrated through this whole book. And it just went on and on and on until all of a flipping sudden it was over. Like “oh shit, I’ve been prattling on for days as if I were actually Conway wallowing in my own self inflicted misery, and I nearly forgot to actually finish solving the mystery that pretty much any reader with half a brain has gone ahead and solved by now because the murderer could obviously only be one of two people.” Boom. The end.

I get no satisfaction from this whatsoever, just so we’re clear.

Also, if I suddenly go missing after slagging Tana French, you might want to look into her mob connections.

Praying for your comeback, Tana! Fingers crossed for the next one! Maybe the one-off The Witch Elm will be just the break you needed from the Squad. Let’s all hope, shall we? Plus, hey, it’s based on an actual unsolved mystery, right?

Course your name’s bigger than the title on that cover as well …