I have no idea what’s going on. I was not invited.

Ugh. Dude. Don’t flirt with me.

Hell yeah. Support the trades!

I don’t know why these people think they can just put crap in the outgoing mail without postage.

All these people who barely show an interest in my life the whole rest of the year suddenly want to be close to me at Christmas. This is one of the many many many many many reasons I hate Christmas.

First of all, those fries are not that good. Second of all, everyone. EVERYONE. is fucking stupid. The world needs to burn. (Just kidding, NSA.)

I think I’m kinda sick of fries, actually.

LinkedIn is just about useless.

Stop. Changing. Shit. On. My. Spreadsheet.

Why do you have to turn everything into a THING?

It’s fine. Really. I don’t mind being shunned. Ostracized. Whatever. Really. It’s totally cool.

Wow, that Philly cheesesteak was delicious. I will definitely be going back there.

A placeholder.

*more sniff*

Look, being married to Christ doesn’t pay as well as you might think.

That’s a stupid name for a book. I can’t believe you couldn’t come up with something more clever than that.

Nobody wants me.

I’m pretty sure my wardrobe should just consist of concealed carry leggings and oversized sweaters. I haven’t worked out summer yet.

Why do we need yet another Little Women film?

Gingerbread cookies should always be firm but soft. NEVER crunchy. Never. Crunchy.

I did not know Dave Grohl was a Midwesterner. That makes total sense. He should find a nice girl, settle down, have some kids.

Fine, I’ll admit it. I do not love The Clash.

Someday, I, too, will be paid 6 figures to

Yeah, basically.

I put it on just about every playlist. I can’t stop myself.

It’s a ghost town.

Doesn’t matter how many times I watch Chuck. The ending always makes me cry my eyes out.

My new mantra: “Head high and fuck ‘em all.” ~ Nick Cave’s mom.

I don’t know what to watch/re-watch now that I’ve gone through Chuck again. I can’t stream Buffy OR Firefly. Bastards. I’m really in the mood for Firefly too.

You’re operating under the assumption that I want to live to be 100.

I wish Adam Baldwin had an Instagram.

Hey! It’s little Jack on Psych!

Wow, that smells just exactly like rancid fish. Pardon me while I get my gag reflex under control.

And yet. I cannot seem to stop accumulating.

I just read the most pointless article. I don’t even know why I kept reading. I couldn’t stop. It was so poorly written. Thanks, New York Times.

Ha Ha Ha

I find this terrifying but not because I’m a photographer.

Jesus, did you just bathe in that perfume? Because holy shit.


Why can’t people ever just stick to a plan? Why? Why is that so hard? You make a plan, you follow through. It’s a simple two step process.

Goddamn PTO.

Who’s refrigerator is that clean? No one’s.

Yes! That worked perfectly!!

It would probably suck to be an actual superhero.

Whyyyyyyyyyy are people so whiny? There is nothing I hate more than whining. Nothing. Stop fucking whining.

I need a Biggby.

Um. I didn’t graduate in 1986. I don’t know these people.

Wow. That is foul.

What the hell. Where are all these people coming from today?

Good Lord the lines!

I guess Serenity will do. Hi there, Jayne Cobb.