It’s harder than you think.

I like the word autochthonous. It feels good in your mouth when you say it.

What the hell happened to this KAL?

I need a darning egg.

Three Mexican countries?? How does that work?

I don’t think you can build community by telling people what and how to think. I’m pretty sure that’s just fascism.

I talk too much shit about shit.

I wish I were sorry.

If you’re going to say someone was shot with a revolver, probably the photo you use to accompany that statement should be of a revolver, and not a .45 semi-auto. Just a thought.

I wish people paid for me to attend conferences, cos I’d really like to attend the Heterodox one I was just invited to.

I really have a deep seated dislike for April Fool’s Day. I think it’s awful.

There is nothing transparent about this. Where is all this money going that you’re taking away from our budgets? What are you spending it on instead?

Telling people what they’re allowed to say = fascism.

Whatever. I can’t keep beating myself up about shit like this. It just shouldn’t matter.

I’d love to see the Psychedelic Furs, but I have no interest in James. I saw Love Spit Love once upon a time and Richard Butler was fucking incredible. They played with Live. I was 10 feet away from Butler. Swoon. That was a kick ass show. March 23, 1995. Wow. An actual lifetime ago.

That doesn’t make me feel old though.

Listen. I suck. Completely. I’m a terrible wife. I’m a terrible mother. I’m a terrible friend. I’m a terrible everything in between. I know this. I try not to suck. But I suck.

I dreamed that we were on a road trip headed … somewhere. We stopped at a gas station that tripled as a bar and a greasy spoon. We all piled inside for road snacks and drinks. As I as getting some water I realized Jordan Peterson was there. We started chatting and ended up in a lengthy and dark conversation about serial killers.  … I had said something to which he replied, with a chuckle, “As long as you don’t judge me for my fascination with serial killers.” I said “That would be like judging myself.” He said, “But what draws you to the subject?” I  said, “I imagine much the same as you – the darkness.” People who were listening laughed and I said, “But it’s true. You can’t appreciate the light without the dark. You can’t understand good without acknowledging evil.” Peterson nodded, took his drink, and walked away.

Every single word of this is true.

I want to like Jenny Lewis, but I just can’t. I do love one or two Rilo Kiley songs though.

I’m reconsidering the podcast idea. Cos I have a really good one.

I don’t even remember Air Force One, though I know I’ve watched it.

I will never understand how anyone can look at this model and think, “Yeah! That’s just what we need!

My second cup of tea just has not been hitting the spot in the morning. Sadness.

I should probably just go into seclusion.

Maybe becoming a nun can be my retirement plan.

I bet Jordan Peterson would enjoy a conversation with me in the real world. So would loads of other people who just don’t know it yet.

WOW I’ve been waiting for this one for a while.

I don’t want to do this any more.

Sympathy for the devil, indeed.

That was fast.

Parallelogram one.

I can’t remember that thing you said about Paula Zahn that was so funny.

Look. I’m not really into things that look like vulvas, thanks.

This seems like something I would do, and I know you’re shocked that I did not.

How the hell am I supposed to know what vaccinations I received as a child?

I am not generally a fan of coconut flavor, but I do love a Samoa cookie, I must admit.

Sometimes I censor myself. I know you’re shocked, but it’s true.

I’m not sure if you got the memo, but no one appointed you our great high priest of right and moral living. You’re just as bad as the progs with some of these posts. Jaysus.

I really need to stop looking at Facebook today.

You don’t need this kind of negativity in your life.

Yeah, but why is Paul Holes still not on Instagram?

Probably the most frivolous thing so far.

This is excellent. An excellent step, anyway.

No, really. How did you get that PhD? You can’t possibly have actually earned it in any real sense.

I can’t focus on anything for longer than 5 minutes today.

I wish I had nicer handwriting.

Look. I like pizza more than I like being thin.