Why would you pay that much money for a movie ticket?

Last night I wrote my memoir in my head as I was trying to fall asleep. In it, I died three times. You were there.

But is it a noun or a verb?

This is going to be so so so so good. And this version of Pictures of You is absolutely beautiful.

Of course I love that song anyway. Of course I love The Cure.

I should make you a list of songs that make me cry.

Just when the MI SOS was really starting to improve, Michiganders elected a bunch of idiot progressives who had to go and ruin the whole thing. Once again, progressivism proving to be the actual effective opposite of progress.

Just leave people alone. Why is that so hard for you?

Keep this up, I just might vote for Trump in 20. I know at least 10 people whose homes I’ll no longer be welcome in should that happen. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

I don’t think forcing me to attend a lecture on how biased I am is really going to do dick about my alleged biases.

P.S. I don’t have the biases you think I have. I took your stupid IAT.

I’m getting mighty gorram sick of people. There was more to that sentence, but I realized it was SO MUCH more that just stopping it there really does suffice.

Who the fuck can afford to stay in one of those hotels anyway?

That might be the weirdest voicemail I’ve ever received.

Clearly I have to go.

Nothing throws sand in your face quite like someone you know in the real world turning down your friend request on the socials.

Well, that would explain a LOT of what is going on here.

Well obviously there’s a certain level of trust there.

Right. It’s a 12 year old boy’s fault MI roads aren’t being fixed faster.

I mix ketchup and ranch together every time I eat chicken strips. But do I want to buy a bottle of it pre-mixed? Not so much.

Man. When do I not need a nap?

Some of these spaces actually fill me with anxiety. But the rest are beautiful.

I totally would have gone.

Probably.

I GET TO SEE THE NATIONAL IN JUNE AND I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I would probably benefit greatly from this jobby.

But why did that Theranos chick change her voice like that? She just sounded WEIRD.

Man. Want. Feels.

What if you’re somewhere in between the dark triad and the light triad. What if you’re like 2/3 light and a third dark or something. Just. You know. Out of curiosity.

I don’t actually think the actress that plays Lucifer’s mom is that hot. I find her kind of offputting, to be honest.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

I don’t think I’ve ever slow danced in a kitchen.

Absolutely everything is conspiring against me at this moment.

I really can’t talk right now.

Is it a tiny desk hosting a concert or is it a tiny concert at a desk or is it a tiny concert at a tiny desk? Why does this vex me so very much?

I can’t for the life of me think of any questions to ask these people. I just don’t care.

I want to go work for Bad Robot.

OK, not really.

I love cilantro, actually.

Why do I keep applying for jobs. Why. It’s such a waste of time.

Man. Every damn day I hear about some other person I’d love to see at Motor City Comic Con. Sigh. The Lucifer cast was just announced. Damn. I’d love to have the kind of disposable cash that would allow me to just spend a weekend in a hotel going to a con all day.

I would’ve looked inside.

Today was crazy busy, so I guess this will just be short.