I could not possibly have heard that correctly.

The dinosaurs are starting to arrive.

Here’s to not sucking.

Wow. What a monumentally shitty day.

STOP COMING IN MY CUBE STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

Absolutely no fucking respect whatsoever. None.

Look, there is a sign on the printer in big red letters that says OUT OF ORDER. If you still try to print to it thereby using and losing your print credits, that’s on you. I can’t help you when you do foolish things.

This paper is soooooooooooooooooo dry. Like I’ll get into a really great paragraph and then BOOM. You lose me. Stop saying epistemological.

I’ve been using this mousepad for nearly twenty years. I suddenly feel like I should wash it.

People keep posting hot cocoa memes. Hot cocoa is a winter drink. Hot cider is a fall drink. You people have it all wrong.

I thought that said “human function.” It did not.

It’s not “her and me.” It’s never “her and me.” It’s SHE and I. Jesus.

OMGCARAMELAPPLECIDERSEASONATBIGGBYISUPONUSYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

H.E.A.V.E.N.

My knits have spiraled out of control. I need some serious organization and assessment of project status. It’s nuts. Like seriously nuts.

OK, but you’ve listed my name backwards.

I have nothing but respect for anyone willing to work. And I’m sick to death of people being treated as less than because elites think that their jobs are worth less. I get looked down on all the time by faculty and administrators because I’m viewed as an overpaid secretary. Forget my above average IQ, my BA, my demonstrated intelligence, and on and on. I’m judged by my job title. Screw the elites. Leave people the fuck alone.

Whelp. Guess I won’t be wearing Levi’s anytime soon.

OMFG Awesome. Tell me again how smart PhDs are?  ARRRRRRRGH

Yeah no.

I read that as “arrested or reincarnated.”

IAMSOFRUSTRATED

OMG I’m so hot. This office is never comfortable. Never.

ouch mouse

I have never seen You’ve Got Mail and I’m completely OK with that.

I think I need a break.

What. It’s National Pizza Day?!?!?

Aloha Chicken should never be a pizza choice. Ever.

I’m stalled until one of these mfers decides to participate.

Who doesn’t save a copy of their work??

I hate the morning DJ on First Wave. His name is stupid and he pronounces it weird. Like Laahree instead of Lairee. Actually sometimes it sounds like Laahrleduck. Evidently it’s Larry the Duck. Which is a dumb name. This morning he played 99 Luftballons and then asked if anyone had ever heard the English version. Dude. Who the fuck hasn’t heard the English version??

You know what never gets old? You taking your mood out on me.

And now I’m freezing. Awesome.

This place is eating away at my soul.

Should we have tacos for dinner?

I’m hilarious.

I don’t give a shit about Nike or that idiot athlete, but the new memes are cracking me up.

I don’t know who you are, but I need to lock this door now.

I’ll be better company next week. I promise.

no really.