Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahp with the check your privilege already. Staaaaaaaaaaaaahp.

It’s presumptuous, bigoted, racist, and predicated on assumption. Bite me.

Whhyyyyyyyyyyy are so many people here so early today? Why you gotta ruin my morning quiet time?

Because women don’t generally have hairy asses?

The weather today! It’s going to be the only thing that salvages my mood, I can tell already.

Why would you send that email out to everybody? Why not just send it to the people who responded to your inquiry? That email is just spammy.

although i know you can’t appreciate it

At what point are you going to be forced to release your desperate grasp on that cloak of victimhood? Take some damn responsibility for yourself.

Adding a winky face to your passive aggressive bitchery does not magically make it not passive aggressive bitchery.

Today’s belly shirt looks like it was made out of shredded tissue paper. Sheesh.

Boxing used to be a sport in high school??

Somebody’s feet really stink. It’s so gross.

When did Coldplay get all 90s dance remix synth arena pop??

Bats are louder than you’d think.

Being here just makes me sad.

I don’t know what kind of fugue state I was in when I thought I could handle two classes and a 5 month old. And a full time job. And a 10 year old. And a husband. And a commute. And sleeping.

Wow, I read that as “racist rainstorm”. Ha.

i got sunshine in a bag

“Ballpoint pens will be the ruin of education in our country. Students use these devices and then throw them away. The American values of thrift and frugality are being discarded. Businesses and banks will never allow such expensive luxuries.” ~Federal Teachers, 1950

I unfriended him because he annoyed me.

And the Hoover Dam was never seen again.

It’s cold in here. Physically and metaphorically.

oooh! I just had a really good idea for a class. But I’m not sharing those ideas any more because they don’t take me seriously. Too bad for them. It was a really good idea.

Oh wow. This video.

I need a good hair day so I can get my new ID photo taken. I need some “I’ve been on a boat” hair.

I don’t like working with a counseling psychology doctoral student. I feel like he’s secretly analyzing me. In fact, my brain is quite sure he only took this job, which is wholly unrelated to his field, to write his dissertation on our weird office dynamics. I’m sure that says something about my ego or narcissistic tendencies or something. Is paranoia narcissistic? Seems like it must be.

Now I feel REALLY good about myself. Sheesh.

I don’t know how anyone can not be appalled by this. This isn’t mercy.

Huh. So Benedict Cumberbatch. Kind of a nutball.

This is pretty awesome.

I can’t be the only one who wants to pronounce anions like onions, but with an a. Anyuns. Right?

She keeps saying ecspecially.

Wow. You are actually the poster boy for being a pompous ass. Stop talking. Just stop.

Why do people put spiral bound notebooks in three ring binders?

Just because I have a goat doesn’t mean I’m particularly fond of goats. It means my people have a weakness for stray animals.

Wow. Wil Wheaton. He just doesn’t get any smarter, does he?

Why are these not in my kitchen?

Why am I not carrying my lunch to work in this?

Wow. Sarah Silverman. She just doesn’t get any smarter, does she?

Stop saying like. Stop. Saying. Like.

Your overdose of cologne is like tiny daggers of trying too hard in my brain.

It’s not FASFA! You work in higher ed, you should be pronouncing this acronym correctly. It’s FAFSA. FAFSA FAFSA FAFSA. What is so difficult about this???

Wow. Bill Nye. He just doesn’t get to be any less of an asshat, does he?

It’s not besides the point. It isn’t. It might be beside the point, but it’s never besides the point.

There’s a university rule about eating in class? Huh.

Freedom of speech does not refer to the language you speak, dude. Although, I suppose it protects your right to speak whatever language you want … But that’s not what it means!

There’s some really cool stuff here, guys. Really.

i’m in love

sigh. Paul is still totally dreamy.

Of course, this IS a good hair day, and it’s pouring buckets, so I can’t walk down and get my new damn hell ID photo anyway. Damn. Hell. Dammit.

Where is my food? (Sing it to the tune of “Where is My Mind?” Do it.)

People would probably be more inclined to adopt your rescue animals if it wasn’t so prohibitively expensive to do so.

Remind me to bring that thank you card and my protein bars to work tomorrow.

A Cyberman kisses you passionately while being eaten by the Vashta Nerada.

petrichor. mmmmmmmmmm

Wow. These peanuts are from my trip to Texas. How are these still in my bag?

Yup.

I think “Constitutional Law Professor” must mean something entirely different in POTUS land than it does in reality.

I can’t believe she thinks it’s too early for Halloween decorations. Pish!

Ketchup and fries.

Curses! I ordered giant knitting needles, not a giant crochet hook! What am I going to do with a giant crochet hook, you fools?

‘”Context” is the mother of prevarication.’

I got a migraine coming on. Oh yay.

I just think there is something kind of awesome about sending someone a surprise book in the mail. It says someone was thinking about you and wanted to share something with you. People should send each other books more often.

Just say NO to white text on your black blog background. nononononononononoooooooooooooooooooo no.

I need a beverage. Yo.