“Isn’t it not” … Oh boy.

She keeps saying ecsetera.

Ooph. When you use a 24 hour clock you don’t actually have to enter a.m. and p.m.

Wow. You really just said “She shit her pants in a van” in class. You should really just stop talking now.

That seems like a pretty John Grishamy thing to do.

I don’t think that people really understand that it isn’t actually a “selfie” if someone else is pushing your shutter button.

Ooh, that’s a good new euphemism for us photogs and stuff. Stop pushing my shutter button! Or, alternately, He really pushes my shutter button, if you know what I mean, wink wink.

Huh. I have absolutely no memory at all of putting this Tears For Fears song on the iPhone that isn’t a phone.

“It’s not like a field full of high hipsters is all that different from a kindergarten class.”

snort.

I had no idea Ione Skye was British. Or wait. Maybe I did.

You’re overcomplicating it, dude.

These are wonderful!!

I think they ought to stop using the term “honorable” in senators’ titles. It’s almost never true.

Um. Those aren’t maple leaves. Maybe you meant “maple” leaves.

The problem, you see, is that I find myself to actually be a desperate optimist, despite my outward cynicism. And as a result, I am in a constant state of disappointment by other humans. It’s a wretched thing. I’d so much rather not care.

If the pilgrims didn’t set foot on Plymouth Rock until 1667, there couldn’t have been a Massachusetts Bay Colony School Law of 1642. Try to keep up.

America was also something of a penal colony, people always overlook that.

I think we can safely say I’d be the giggle at a funeral.

Why am I the only one who’s not allowed to email the office any more? I think your “Top 5 EV Friendly Institutions in the US” is pretty spammy, gradass.

I don’t even agree with everything Ayaan Hirsi Ali says, but to deny her as a speaker because a bunch of leftist slaves to political correctness have labeled her message as hate speech is the real outrage. Hate speech is a blanket excuse to stifle the voices of people with whom you disagree and it’s straight up wrong. “Hate Speech” is the shield of the perpetual victim.

I’ve clearly bored you to tears.

Is it really necessary for you to have your conversation right there? What is it with people standing right in front of my doorway to carry on at top volume?

At the other end, I can totally hear you whisper whisper whispering over there.

This place is treacherous.

I thought Constitution Day was the 17th.

Oh today is the 17th.

Stop drumming your fingernails on the table. Seriously.

Did I mention that food at meetings ought to be outlawed? At least for people who can’t seem to keep from talking with their mouths full.

OK, it was a cute phrase the first couple of times, but you’ve beaten it to death. Let it go. Just let it go.

Honestly. I believe they’re actively trying to get me to quit. OK. I can work with that.

“My intentions were good and that’s the main thing.” Oy. Yes, that makes everything OK.

Every. Damn. Day.

Really, I’m in danger of a very foul mood.

Yup.

A donut would help. Or a caramel apple cider. The cider is easier to obtain.

It’s not my fault it’s stuck in my head.

I wonder if they’ll call. They probably won’t even call.

Yeah, I’m not sure I’m really into the whole quilted vest scene.

Ha.

I was not prepared to learn an entirely new Adobe platform today. This is going to take a bit.

Well hello there.

They do that shit on purpose to waste time because school is a horrible place to be.

How do I have three papers for the same class all due next week?

This poor girl. This is why we should be allowed to be armed.

Well it’s not like I never make grammar mistakes.

I think the main thing here is that the only real reason I’m taking classes is because I don’t have to pay for them. I don’t, in actual fact, give a damn about finishing this degree. I just don’t.

What a weird thing.

Holy wow!

“Also don’t google wearable penis. I forgot what the other half of the internet was.”

Dear God, John Travolta. Step away from the hair dye. “He looks like his own wax work statue.”

in actual fact. actually. factually.

Aww, this little guy.

Every time I look at this list of crap to write up I just get stuck.

Well. I guess we can’t all be Constitutional law professors, now can we?

I know you’re proud of your new look, Lipton, but the new packaging sucks.

Maybe I can get caramel cider tomorrow.

surprise!!!!!!