In case you were looking for gift ideas for me this year …┬áThere’s this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this. And that’s just one yarn store.

It’s 24 degrees outside, but I have my window open in my cube so I can try to air out the goddamn air freshener stench in this office enough so I can make it through this goddamn day. I. Need. A. New. Job.

yeah yeah yeah

There are times to pronounce it puhRENthusis and there are times to pronounce it PAIRentheesis.

That is a fact.

I should be writing a paper right now. I’m thinking of making a Biggby run instead.

Screw it. I’ll drink water and eat this Pop Tart.

I did not buy enough tiny tiny trees.

Screw it, I need to get out of here for a minute.

Think I can find 25 songs that adequately express my extreme dislike of Christmas?

Stop graciously accepting shit. That’s not how that word is used.

What the hell does an English prof know about carbon taxes?

I won’t get this job either.

I need to give up.

Another day, another bug brought home from the bio-weapon breeding ground called school.

Nice. Now I can never knit that pattern, even though it’s quite lovely.

No, really, somebody buy this for me. The hat too. I’ll wear it the whole rest of the winter. I’ll change it up with different shawls every day.

I think she may be your spirit sister.”
“That is a fact.”

Um. He’s the Golden State Killer, not the Golden Gate Rapist. He wasn’t even in San Francisco.

Everyone needs a tiny tiny tree.

You need strings on it to attach it to your coat or something. Like when you were little and your mom ran your mittens through your sleeves with a yarn rope.

I’m having a hard time focusing on this study, even though it’s fascinating and exactly the study I have been looking for for this project.

Bitches be loud, man.

Merry Christmas. Don’t yell at me for your tears because you will cry them.

We do not have the money for this. This is a waste of my goddamn time.

I should just take a nap right now.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FFS

Oh wait. My dad might actually genuinely outlive me.

WHY do I have fucking Jukebox Hero stuck in my head?

NO DAIRY WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD … OR THE FLU

There is nothing on this Earth that smells worse than milk vomit. It’s like it instantly curdles in your stomach. Jesus.

Everyone wants my money this time of year.

Share