Well, I can’t go to Cambodia, now can I?

Trying to stay away from a crutch for this.

I guess I looked and then forgot that I looked.

Of all the weird band names, that one’s always stood out as extra weird to me.



“Great for the stupid that’s learning.” Interesting advertising, lady.

I love Facebook marketplace ads.

What fresh drama is this?

This is kind of gorgeous.

No, I don’t think I want to go on your Crime Cruise, thanks.

I wonder if I’ve developed allergies.

“Precious plant peoples.”

“A mother’s prayer is that her children love each other long after she is gone” … to the grocery store.

I’m sorry you don’t like my Instagram feed. It’s not at all likely to change.

I just don’t think fake poop on baked goods is appetizing.

Yes, I do still hate the word “hubby.”

Dude. Please. I beg of you. Stop using the word bricolage. We get it.

Table of Tables

I’d totally be an anarchist if I didn’t loathe chaos so much.


But we don’t have a Ministry of Health.

Man. Now you just sound pretentious. No one talks like that.

Look, I can’t walk around behind you people turning lights off all goddamn day.

“It’s probably because of genetic genealogy.”

As opposed to … ?

I know this may come as a shock to you, but I totally forgot it was Wednesday for like 4.5 hours.

You get what you get I guess.